My OB (original baby) is 4!!!

4!!!

Sabine is 4. When I say or type those words it hurts my chest and I get a huge lump in my throat. I miss baby Sabine so badly sometimes. I sometimes want to do those years over now that I actually know how to be a good Mom. Back then I stumbled through mommyhood and Sabine was my guinea pig. Which is why I think she is fiercely independent and strong. Sabine is so many things but above all she is an amazing daughter and a very attentive big sister. She is so aware of Sarah and Maisy and what it is that they need. I have a hard time putting in to words what I feel about this girl. She's so special to me and everyday I remember what a huge blessing she is in my life.

We had a family party for her at the pool. She was happy to have her Boston cousins (Gunther and Lindsey) there, as well as Nama, Papa, Auntie Sue Sue and Auntie Liz. She got a new bike as her big present. She has been going on rides with Matthew at night. Except for the last 2 nights she has not been allowed to use her bike because of her naughty nature. That bike is HUGE bribery for me. It's the first thing to get taken away when she acts up.

Sabine is starting her 2nd year of pre-school in September with Sarah. Next year she goes to Kindergarten. Thinking about that just depresses me. Good thing I have a year to prepare.

Dad made Sabine pancakes (her fave) in the shape of a 4:

Such a good big sister:Pool party:On her new bike:It dawns on me today (the 1st anniversary of my Dad's death) just how big and important it is that she has Papa in her life. Helping her swim:See, Aunt Sue Sue was there. And I'll take this picture down as soon as she comments on my post: