May I please have a small coffee?

This is a picture of me, fake sipping the coffee I bought today:

When Matthew and I moved to Walnut Creek (stalkers and people that would otherwise try to find us there, we have since moved) in 2002, we heard from people on occasion- "The W.C. cops give bums a one-way bus ticket out of town and tell them not to return". Believable in a way because W.C is kind of hoity toity. Well, that rumor was dispelled when Sabine joined our family. Eventually she was old enough for the park and I took her to Civic Park once in awhile. Everytime we were there, I saw the same homeless man (I hate the word Bum) lingering around. I came to the conclusion that he probably lives there because there is shelter under a veranda, drinking fountains, bathrooms and plenty of shade. It is also in the middle of downtown. I'm pretty sure he is Walnut Creek's only homeless man. I never interacted with him. Why all the backround? Fast forward a few years and I'll tell you about today.

I was in W.C. with Sarah today at Nama's house (working on the most amazing project I've ever attempted and when I reveal it to everyone, you will ALL be astounded) and when we left I took her to McDonalds for lunch. We were on our way to pick Sabine up from school so we were getting it to go. When I pulled in to the parking lot I saw Mr. homeless man sitting at an outdoor table, eating cookies out of a W.C. Baking Company box. They looked fresh and delicious. I got Sarah out of the car and asked the man if I could buy him some food. He told me "no" by shaking his head. We went and got our food. When I came out he approached me and asked for some change to buy a coffee. He showed me what he meant by letting me see the pennies and nickel he had in his hand. I told him that I would go in and buy him a coffee and he told me he could go do it himself. I don't like giving homeless people money, food yes, money, no. So he shook his head yes and I went in to buy his coffee. When I came back out he was nowhere to be seen. I peeked around the back of the building and I just know he was watching me look for him. I stood there for a minute just in case he came back. I thought to go inside and look thinking maybe he snuck inside and sat down to wait for me. I didn't do that because I was starting to feel silly. I was sure that the 2 men that were in the vicinity were laughing at me. So, I piled myself, Sarah, lunch and the coffee into the car and left. I was going to leave the coffee at his outdoor table but I didn't want to leave trash around.

This left me with questions in my head all the way to school. Why did he do that? Does he do that to other people? Is this a trick he likes to play? Did I degrade him by going in and getting his coffee when he is perfectly capable? Should I have left the coffee? Did he forget that I was in there buying it? And more importantly, what do I do with this coffee that I'm not going to drink? In the end, I dumped it down the sink, after I tried to give it to someone at Sabine's school. He looks to be about 70 years old and I felt like this was all going to be a legitimate exchange. I felt duped. I wanted to make his day better and brighter and I think I may have ruined it instead. He's a really cute old man, by the way. Not a tooth in his mouth and his lips pucker in to the point of disappearing. Didn't stop him from enjoying his cookies.